personality: unlocked
I think I’ve said before that I’m fascinated with how my personality has developed over the years of mental health crises. Some of it I’m getting back and some of it I’ve never seen before. So, I thought we could dive into that.
To start, I asked both of my mom’s what they thought my top three personality traits. One said I was stubborn, fierce, and creative while the other said I was courageous, loyal, and resilient. Obviously, I’m thrilled to have any of those personality traits, and I can’t deny that I am stubborn. Now, I trust them, but keep in my mind that they have kind of have to say good things. Either way, I do resonate with the traits in different ways. I’m thrilled to be considered courageous, fierce, and resilient after everything I’ve been through, and I’m glad they know I’m loyal and would do anything for them. I also love to hear creative because I love hearing I’m an artist even if I don’t believe it. But how do I see myself? And what does that mean?
Lately, all I see is my stubbornness. I don’t like being told what to do (mostly when it comes to my health) because I think I know better or something. It keeps popping up and I’m like shocked because who does that? I also keep getting irrational anger when I’m driving like honking at people to move and I seriously need to quit that. But I can easily list the bad things- all the things I’m working on. My therapist says I need to start focusing on my good qualities. She says I’m hardworking, passionate, driven, etc. And I can see it, but I’m so self-conscious that I’m not these things that sometimes I need to hear it. So, let’s say it. I AM HARDWORKING, PASSIONATE, AND DRIVEN. I’M AN ARTIST. I LOVE BEING ORGANIZED. I AM LOYAL, FIERCE, COURAGEOUS, AND RESILIENT. Scream it from the fucking rooftops. Now, what does a personality test say?
So, I took a personality test. I filled in all the little bubbles, and it spit out some assessment of who I am. Because I want to know, right? Let’s get into it. Apparently, my personality is an Advocate (INFJ-T) which says I am a quiet visionary, often serving as an inspiring and tireless idealist. This personality type is rare and people that have it are open-minded and imaginative, applying care and creativity. I have introverted, intuitive, feeling, and judgement traits. I approach life with deep thoughtfulness and imagination. Success doesn’t come from money or status but from seeking fulfillment, helping others, and being a force for good in the world. INFJ personalities are always seeking purpose, connection with others, and a personal mission.
What energizes me?
1) Authentic connection
2) Quiet reflection
What drains me?
1) Shallow socializing
2) Conflict and negativity
What else did the test say?
o Perfectionism drives me to constantly improve myself and the world around me
o I may struggle to bring my visionary ideas into reality due to self-doubt or fear of criticism
o I possess a rare combination of creativity and analytic ability
o My sensitivity to criticism and tendency to internalize stress can sometimes hold me back from fully expressing my gifts
CAREER
I thrive in environments that offer opportunities for personal growth, creativity, and the chance to positively impact other’s lives. My idealism can sometimes clash with the real world, and I may struggle with mundane tasks and office politics preferring to focus on the bigger picture and long-term goals. Strengths include creative solutions, building team harmony, inspiring through purpose, and reading between the lines. My weaknesses include perfectionism, avoiding conflict, idealistic tendencies, and a sensitivity to criticism. Work styles that suit me are ones with meaningful goals and independent focus.
Influential traits
1) Perfectionism
2) Ambition
3) Motivation
4) Desire to lead
PERSONAL GROWTH
I have a strong quest for authenticity and self-understanding. I have an innate drive to continually improve myself and actualize my potential. This often involves deep introspection, exploring complex emotions, and striving to align my actions with my core values. A key challenge in my personal growth is to balance my idealistic nature with practical realties. Embracing perfectionism and learning to value my unique gifts without constant comparison to others are important steps on my path to self-acceptance and fulfillment. My strengths include deep self-awareness, empathy, visionary idealism, and dedication to growth. My weaknesses are that I am self-critical, procrastinate, emotionally sensitive, and have unrealistic standards.
Influential traits
1) Resilience
2) Confidence
3) Grit
4) Sense of control
RELATIONSHIPS
In relationships, I seek authentic connections that go beyond surface-level. My empathy and intuitive understanding of others allows me to offer profound insights and unwavering support. I have a gift for creating safe places for people, and I get great satisfaction from hoping those close to me. My need for privacy and tendency to keep my innermost thoughts and feelings hidden can create barriers in my relationships. I struggle to open up fully, fearing vulnerability or misunderstanding. Finding a balance between my desire for deep connections and my need for independence and alone time is crucial for my relationship satisfaction. My strengths include emotional connection, intuitive understanding, loyalty, and careful communication. My weaknesses include being overly idealistic, avoiding conflict, being guarded, and absorbing others’ emotions. My relationship superpowers are deep empathy and insightful guidance. My relationship pitfalls are idealizing others and avoiding conflict.
Influential traits
1) Authenticity
2) Loyalty
3) Altruism
4) Emotional intelligence
Now, I have to say, I feel the accuracy of the test results. Almost every point resonates with me. And I know that five years ago, I would have different results. Maybe it’s the first step to embracing the new me. Or maybe it’s time for you to know the real me. But either way, I feel seen and understand writing this.
xoxo
