two sides that won’t merge

I don’t even know how to express how heavy my heart is right now. In the last ten years, America has been completely divided. Someone said that in the 90’s, most people weren’t even political, and now everyone is fighting a war to defend their opinions and beliefs. I have a side myself, but something is rivaling my position to a degree. A conservative republican was assassinated this week. Before he died, I won’t lie when I say I hated him, but do I want to see his death? No.

In college, when President Donald Trump was elected, I felt the first divide between me and my friends politically. It was when he put the Muslim ban into place, and I was so outraged. My friends didn’t understand. They liked Trump. They thought I was too invested, and said it had nothing to do with me. Before Trump, I didn’t know this side of them. Between the drinking and partying, we never talked about it. And now, everyone is talking about it.

I have people that I love who voted for Trump. I’m not actively against anyone who voted for him because how could I when my grandma supported him? I saw that side of it, and I knew the arguments, but my position still wasn’t swayed by it. I won’t pretend that I like Trump, but I’ve also learned when to express my opinions and when to take a back seat. I can now take a step back and respond without anger or malice. Eight years ago, I wouldn’t have been able to do that, and I regret the debates I had with the people I loved. No one was being swayed. Everyone was dead set.

For me, I’m really defensive of women who have been victimized, and Trump has been accused of being a perpetrator and his words have shown truth in his behavior. I can’t stand the things he’s said, the policies he’s made, and generally the way he is. Anyone that he views lesser than him are hurt by his work, and it’s clear he just simply does not care. I just can’t get behind it, but I also recognize that more than half of our country believes otherwise. I don’t want to argue. I don’t want to debate. I just want the differences of our opinions to be met without violence.

Even if my nuclear family is democratic, the majority of my family are republicans or at least used to be. I’ve talked to some of them that are really devasted by the assassination, but I’ve also heard the other side of it. I am an empathetic person, and I don’t believe in murder of any kind, but I do feel terrible about the situation. It shouldn’t have happened, but I’m also not going to make a Facebook status about it. I hate to see the hate that is being thrown around, and social media makes these conversations a war battle. Everyone is so defensive. There are two sides that won’t merge. So, what do we do?

I’m at a loss for words.

xoxo