Who am I?
It’s not uncommon to struggle with your own identity and I have had that issue with myself at times. There are days where I look in the mirror and think “who is that?”. There are so many ways and causes of identity issues. For one, trauma changes you. After experiencing times where you had to fight for your life, you don’t come out of it as the same person you once were. It can be devastating. I’ve also experienced the effect of mental illness on my identity. The onset of mental illness is devastating- you enter a place that changes you so much, other people may NOT be able to understand. When this happens, and you lose people, their memory of you is frozen in time. You can’t help but ask “why” or “am I not good enough?” It feels like your fault when in reality, everyone plays a part. But the people that do stay, and love you, will grow with you as you change. It’s also okay not to know yourself or see yourself in a different way than others. Either way, it is still so important to work on yourself and your identity.
Finding yourself is a journey, but it is rewarding, and it can be so fun. Some ways to start this journey are listed below. This process can help you regain control of your life and come into alignment. Others may question your identity, and it is a never-ending journey, but you will find yourself excited to wake up everyday and you will stop allowing life to just happen to you.
Find a purpose
Create something
Find the courage to be seen
Self-reflection
Follow your interests AND reclaim your old interests
Work with your inner critic
Step into your power
Release the persona
Integrate the good and bad parts of yourself
Create solitude and lower stress
Write down your values
Create solid boundaries
I always get scared that I have or am going to have a personality disorder. I have family members that do, and when I find it difficult to see myself or know myself, I get scared that I might. But I don’t even though I do struggle with identity issues. I have learned that no one knows you like you know yourself but others may know you in a way that you don’t. You are going to lose people when you change (especially when we’re talking about sobriety), but it’s not healthy to try to be or prove you are the person they want you to be. For me, through a lot of work, I realized that the person I was looking for was me. I had to be my own savior. When that happens, you won’t let people walk all over you anymore, you can be an advocate for yourself, you will learn how to be self-compassionate, and you will come to love yourself. If you want to be a certain person, you can be that person! You get to define who you are. Tips and tricks to find yourself are listed below!
Make a vision board!
Find music that resonates with you!
Journal (especially with prompts)!
Practice gratitude!
Open up to others! (ask them how they see you)!
Find clothes that are SO YOU!
Read self-help books
Whoever you are, I love you, and You Are My Muses!
xoxo
