it’s time to accept (a life list)
Alright. I’m going to be very vulnerable here. Do you know what hurts the most about the years I spent in a mental health crisis? The years that I lost. It’s like I was 25 and somehow woke up as a 30-year-old. It feels like these years were crucial and while everyone else was getting their first jobs out of school, I was just trying to stay out of the hospital. And maybe someday I’ll realize what I did gain out of those years, but right now? I feel robbed. I feel left behind. I feel like I have to catch up by pushing myself as hard as I possibly can. And sometimes I tell myself to relax, but would I really be me if I wasn’t pushing? And so, yes, it’s time to accept the loss of those years, and look toward the wonderful future I know I’ll have.
I saw on a Netflix show that someone made a ‘life list’ where they listed everything they wanted to do in their life. And it got me thinking… if I lost those years, why not make a ‘life list’ to take a step toward my future. Some of the things on my list are basically if I become a millionaire but hey, who said that wasn’t out of the question? I’m not holding anything back. See the list below.
o Learn how to play the piano
o Write a children’s book about animals
o Publish a dystopian series
o Buy a house in Oxford, England
o Teach about primatology
o Travel to Asia
o Have a large book collection
o Buy a blue Mercedes SL-190 with red interior
o Publish my data on the wildlife trade
o Go skydiving
o Run a 5k marathon
o Pay ($) my parents back
o Work on legislation for the wildlife trade (in Washington D.C.)
o Have a ‘mini zoo’ at my forever home
o Own a conservation consulting business
o Work with social media companies on the online wildlife trade (OWT)
o Tell my story to the whole world (podcast, documentary, etc.)
o Go deeper into my relationship with God
o Learn what my tarot cards mean
o Learn how to really cook
Am I crazy to think that all those things may actually become true? Do I believe that my life will be so abundant? The answer is yes. I daydream about these things. I get butterflies when I realize how hard it will be. I’m ready for the fight, and I’m ready for the future.
So, RIP to the lost five years, and hello to a new beginning.
xoxo
