the chaotic comeback
How can I even begin to explain the last year of my life? I’d like to call it the chaotic comeback. As soon as 2026 hit, I felt a switch. A breathe. I had made it through 2025. Honestly, everyday of 2025 felt amazing despite the healing, hurt, and chaos that it was. I had begun to fight, and everyday, I pushed myself that much harder. Now, in 2026, I step into the year knowing that all of that healing set me up to be successful this year. In ways that I can’t even begin to imagine. It’s difficult to truly see the progress you’re making throughout time but the person I was two years ago thought this version of me was an impossibility. I think it’s important that everyone step back and think on that. I’m proud of myself again. I believe that I can do anything, and I push that fear aside like a bulldozer. This is what I call the chaotic comeback.
What’s the biggest pill to swallow? Healing isn’t linear. You’re going to have bad days. Sometimes way more than you have good days. And the way you approach the bad parts has to change. You can’t keep trying to get rid of them. You need to learn to live with them. Healing forces you to sit with it without reaching for those easy coping skills. Drugs. Alcohol. Food. It’s about learning to reach for your journal or pausing for a moment to meditate. Stop moving like the house is on fire. Healing begins when you realize that you do everything as if you are in danger. Pause. Think. The most urgent thoughts are the biggest liars. Some days healing can seem like a breakthrough and other days it’s just a win to survive.
How do you make a come back? It’s not easy. It’s actually very hard, and it takes a great deal of patience. There’s overthinking and rumination. Then there’s tearing yourself down and losing everyday. And the whole time you’re pushing yourself too hard. Until you’re not. The scariest experience is finally getting your emotions back. Everything feels foreign, and you’ll spend days trying to recreate that split second moment you felt happy or calm or just normal. You’ll try to get rid of the bad parts and fail again. Until the day you win. That’s when you build. Smart with small changes and build upon them while also remembering a habit has to be established before it can be improved. Patience will get you there.
Let me say this very clearly. Being hard on yourself does not help you AT ALL. When you’re healing, it can be hard when your inner child wants love, your teenage self wants revenge, and your current self wants peace. Berating or yelling at any version of yourself over the past or the present does not help the chaos. It only makes it worse. I literally cringe when my inner voice swears now. I just want the peace that my mind and body so badly deserve.
I spent 2025 realizing that I’ll never be the same person again, but with 2026, I’ve actually began to feel who I once was. I have so many goals for 2026. I feel like I need to catch up but I know that’s not a good way to think about it. There’s just so much I want to do, and I’ll keep you all updated on my chaotic comeback.
Check out the book atomic habits or listen to Mel Robbin’s podcast to hear from the author!
Xoxo
