the mindset

This blog is about something I truly need to focus on- mindset. Mindset plays such an important part on the outcomes of your life and changing your mindset can make life’s challenges easier. Where am I at with mindset? Pending. A few months ago, I had an epiphany that I was horrible to myself and therefore predicted horrible outcomes. My mindset on life was that it was going to be bad, and I always needed to be ready for a fight. My nervous system was on fire. But I didn’t always used to be this way. So, what happened?

I started losing. If I could go back to my teenage self, I would embrace how easy life came to me. I worked hard, but if I did that, it always paid off. Then I found myself in a situation where no matter how hard I tried, I struggled and lost the battle each day. I made goals when I laid in bed each night that tomorrow would be better but when it came around to it, it never did. This went on for so long that I accepted it and I labeled myself as a loser. This mindset changed everything.

Before I was able to fight this mindset, I had to tackle my mental health challenges, and I wasn’t good at praising myself for the small things which lit the mindset more. I wasn’t going to believe in myself until I got through it to the degree that I at least felt happiness. The mindset solidified, and I forgot what my life looked like before it. I went through so many treatments, and never did I discuss the issue of my mindset and the way I looked at myself. It’s possible they didn’t realize this obviously hindered my recovery, but it was something I had to research on my own. Some of what I learned in treatment later became important, but it took a long time for me to practice what they preached.

First, I learned something so important- you are not your thoughts. They don’t mean anything. You don’t have to listen to them. Over time, I took their power away and I’m amazed at what I can handle today that used to rattle me. There was a lot of negative self-talk and eventually I learned to stop the thoughts that called me useless, lazy, fat, ugly, etc. How dare you talk to me to me like that! Replaced with empowering thoughts and affirmations, I began to talk to myself kindly and in the way that I needed.

That’s when I learned about a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset. I was fixed living in a fixed mindset, believing my abilities and talents could not be changed or improved. I needed to be living in a growth mindset where I would believe that I could enhance my skills. I had to push myself out of my comfort zone and put myself in new experiences, surround myself with positive influences, and learn healthy habits that replaced the bad ones. Being flexible and changing your approach is all about mindset, and it took me awhile to nail it.

You have to give yourself permission to believe in yourself and say positive things about yourself. I found that voice. I became the person I needed to save me. I comfort myself, heal my inner child, and say the things that I need to hear. I truly believe I can do anything now and even if it takes time, you can get there, too.

xoxo