yes, I am an artist

My dad genuinely has to tell me not to avoid work for my limitless number of hobbies. The feeling I get when I start a new one or accomplish something in an established one is indescribable. I LOVE IT! I guess you probably had an inkling from this blog that I was drenched in hobbies (especially artistic ones), but that was not always the case. Mental health struggles drain the life out of you, and there was no room for joy in my survival. That was before I learned that these hobbies could bring me back to life and as my fellow patients once said, I needed to keep art-ing!

If you didn’t know, the psych ward only gives out paper and crayons when you’re a patient, and I mean the ONLY thing that they give out. I can’t say I created masterpieces then, but it did spark an artist in me. When I eventually lived in residential treatment for a few months, I had access to even more artistic tools, and that’s when I learned that it was an outlet. I could draw the pain I felt or paint a way out, and I developed this overwhelming urge to express myself. That’s when I first started working on my writing as well, and the idea of a book sparked something in me that had been missing.

When I was out of residential and drowning in the feeling of nothingness, I started taking art classes at the community art center. This is when I fell in love with charcoal. The class taught me how to use it, and I began drawing faces and depictions of trauma that I now hang on my wall. The other class taught me about ink, and I sketched fallen angels into copper before drowning them in thick ink. I spent an absurd amount of money getting art supplies and started working on projects at home. It was just a hobby, but maybe not so much anymore.

I started to visualize art pieces, and each time I’d rush to the canvas or sketch pad to create what I saw. I threw photography into the mix, and it focused a lot on cemeteries and churches. I started combing photos with paint and I developed a type of art that is unique to me. That’s when I started thinking, I need to share this. Creating the blog was one of my first ideas, and it took a long time to build, but now, it fills that need to share my art. Now I just need to get people to read and view what I have created.

So, maybe my art is more than a hobby now, and maybe I can say, yes, I am an artist.

xoxo